Round Two

So, I was taking a shower a couple of weeks ago and found a hard mass in my neck.  Well, actually, rediscovered a hard mass in my neck.  About 5 years ago, I went to the doctor here in town and pointed it out to him.  I remember him saying, “don’t worry about it and forget about it, we will recheck it later”.   So, what did I do?  I forgot about it.  He never did recheck it or mention it again.  It doesn’t poke out of my neck or even hurt and the location is not somewhere you normally would “feel”.  Knowledge is power and I do regular neck and breast checks now.  Something I didn’t do before.

This Friday I am going to truck down to the cancer center and get it checked out.  Round two of waiting on a diagnosis.  I pray it’s just a calcification, cyst, or just a random thing my body has that is harmless.  I am pretty confident it’s not thyroid cancer.  My scan did not show up anything in that area, just the thyroid bed and my thyroid cancer marker is undetectable at the moment.  If it was mushy, I wouldn’t be so nervous, but it’s big, hard, fixed, and doesn’t hurt = breath.

Strange things have been happening this week.  Do y’all believe in signs?  Last time, last year, during the same week I was getting a nodule checked/biopsied, my grandpa was getting IV treatments to reduce some fluid in his body.  Also, there was a stray dog that hung out for the week.  Yesterday, my mom called me to say that grandpa was going to be getting an IV treatment this week to reduce some fluid in his body and when I went outside to take the trash yesterday the same stray dog is back.  Neither of these things have happened since my first round of biopsies.

I was talking to my best friend yesterday, telling her I was freaking out just a bit about the signs.  She said she firmly believed that these were good signs.  Signs to empower me and remind me that I survived and they survived and we all got through before and if needed to would again.  That both grandpa and the stray dog were there to comfort me.  A thyca friend said, “God wants to be with you in this, and wants you to know it is not out of control. He is in control, and maybe the signs are to help you understand that.”  “That if God wanted to tell you there is going to be bad news with the biopsy, it would be to embolden you instead of scare you to death”.

So, as I go this Friday to figure out what this is, I will keep dear to my heart the wise wisdom of my dear friends and also know I am stronger.  Praying though this is nothing.

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